Shenandoah native Diane Vernitsky Jellen opens up about being married to an alcoholic in "My Resurrected Heart: A Codependent's Journey to Healing."
The book is the first in a trilogy that Jellen, now of Boca Raton, Fla., has planned.
"As the disease spread in my family, I became desensitized, and as a good codependent, I tried to control every situation," Jellen said. "Until one day, it was too much to hide, to deny - my once-happy marriage to (the late) Bob (Jellen), a man I truly loved, ended in divorce."
Jellen said she hopes "My Resurrected Heart" will reach out to codependents through its expert advice and daily devotionals. She signed copies of the book Saturday at the Shenandoah Public Library, 15 W. Washington St., Shenandoah.
According to a review, Jellen realized she was addicted to "fixing" her husband's alcoholism - and eventually sought counseling for her codependency. She was eventually able to change what she called her "thankless, codependent existence" into an independent and successful life.
"No one has to live a life of shame and blame," she said.
The book, published by WestBow Press, is a 40-day devotional divided into two parts. In "My Story," Jellen writes about making excuses for her alcoholic father because it made her feel needed and how those feelings carried over to the marriage to her high school sweetheart.
"After 28 years of marriage and four children, Bob and I separated. How could this have happened, I wondered. We were happy; Bob was a wonderful provider, good husband and dad. I learned the hard way that years of drinking, enabling and denial eroded our relationship," she said.
"The 'My Awakening - My Hope' section highlights Vernitsky Jellen's inspiring transformation and will encourage readers to seek God's wisdom and strength as they confront their own enabling behaviors," according to the review.
The author said it wasn't until she was brought to her knees with self-blame that she turned to professional counseling and Al-Anon.
"Fruitful years of meetings and support groups helped me regain my self-confidence and dignity. It was then I knew I had to help others. I enrolled in Pennsylvania state certified addiction counseling classes and worked part-time in several drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinics in Pennsylvania and Florida," she said.
Jellen is a 1959 graduate of the former J.W. Cooper High School in Shenandoah and lived in the suburban Philadelphia area before retiring to Florida. She hopes the book will help readers.
"No one should have to live in the darkness of denial," she said. "There is hope, and I prayed that if sharing my story would help just one person heal, then my published daily journal would be worth the effort. I wanted my story to be an 'easy read' and one that would attract the stressed codependent who never takes time for him or herself. This book is for us, and if we were truthful with ourselves, we would find we are legion - for we are many."
The book is available from Amazon and through her website, www.dianejellen.com. She also maintains a blog at www.codependencycaringorcontrolling.blogspot.com.